An Open Letter To Congressman John Mica

Dear Congressman Mica,

In 2012 you wrote a transportation bill, H.R. 4348.  Within that bill was Sec. 100122 regarding roll your own cigarette machines.  I wont go in the details in this letter but we both know this had nothing to do with transportation and more to do with the people who fund your campaign.

In response to this bill I reached out to you hoping you would have a clever explanation for why you wrote this in to the bill.  You followed up by blocking me from your Facebook page and ignoring my question all together.

Over the past two years I've written you regarding other topics.  Some I was in favor of and others I opposed.  I have yet to receive a single response from you.  Even Senator Rubio, who rarely ever responds to me has, on occasion, written me back.  You, however, never have.... until today!

I eagerly opened my letter from you today anticipating which topic it was that you had chosen to address.  Was is human trafficking or perhaps Obamacare?  Maybe it was something to do with the 2012 transportation bill, finally?

I opened the enveloped and eagerly pulled out the letter only to read:

"I am writing you to ask for your support and vote in the August 26th Republican Primary"

Cue the record scratch sound byte.  The only letter I've ever received from you and it's to ask me for your vote?  Mr. Mica... can I call you that?  Mr. Mica, votes shouldn't be asked for.  They should be earned.  What kind of integrity would I have if you never responded to any of my letters and then voted for you based on no merit at all.  Oh, it gets better.  The letter went on to say.

"Many will request your support and I hope you will judge me and other candidates not only by what we say, but also on what we have done"

What have you done?  You certainly haven't responded to me or made me feel like I was worth anything to you.  When I asked you questions on Facebook you responded by blocking me.

Thank you for showing me that you are only concerned with my vote and not me as a voter.  You will certainly NOT be receiving a vote from me.

Signed,

Timothy Joseph.

An Open Letter To Congress

Dear Congress,

I told myself I wasn't going to write this letter. And then, for some reason, I am writing it. My wife doesn't listen to me when I tell her not to buy new pairs of shoes all the time so why would I listen to myself? But I digress, because digress is such a fun word.

I am a father of three girls. Being the only male in the house, my life is like being in some World War I trench on the western front every day. I try to teach my kids about love and respect and working with each other to share and resolve their problems without arguing. This can be very difficult with the 5 and 7 year olds and don't even get me started in the trials and tribulations of raising a teenager!

I consider myself an American patriot and am opposed to censorship. I also believe in being educated and knowledgeable with what is going on in Washington. With that said, how can I teach my kids about government while also being a good parent and teaching them to find peaceful resolutions when our representatives do nothing but argue, call names and fight. On top of it, you use the rules of our great republic to do wrong against each other.

Members of congress, this isn't a Republican OR Democrat problem.  It's a Republican AND Democrat problem.  American is not happy with it. It drains a person's energy to watch and brings morale down.

I offer a solution,  however.  Much of America works for companies who routinely send their employees to team building events. The last one I went to was at Dave and Busters and we all had fun getting to know each other better. Maybe members of congress could all go camping and try some zip lining. Learn to work together. In the long run you'll have fun, make friends and become more productive. Good luck!

Signed,

Tim

An Open Letter To Christopher Columbus

Yesterday was Columbus Day in America. While I would be happy to accept any holiday pay had my company offered it, I do not celebrate this holiday. Perhaps an open letter to Mr. Columbus himself will help you realize why...

Dear Mr. Christopher Columbus,

While sailing three vessels that do not have GPS, luxury bedrooms and radar across the ocean to the Caribbean was an amazing feat, some credit has to be given to the crew who supported you as well as the queen who financed your trip. Without them, there would be no enslavement of the peaceful Arawak people. You should not take all the credit.

I do not come to you to complain, however. I offer a solution. Yes, I realize that what's done is done, but going forward you may want to heed my advice and not be so egotistical.

There were three ships, which make you, technically speaking, an admiral.  Quite frankly, this is something you should have played up more. Also, you should have branded your expedition. Perhaps having Richard Branson sponsor you so you could sail under the Virgin Atlantic flag.  Sir Richard Brason, a respected adventurer as well, is a brilliant business man and marketer. If you'd done this, our holiday may have been called "Virgin Slave Campaign Day." Instead of people now protesting you solely, we would be speaking of the Virgin brand, which their legal and marketing staff could take care of.

And speaking of slaves, is it really necessary to cut off a man's ears AND nose before you sell him in to slavery as a punishment? History would have forgotten this whole incident if you'd simply sold him off without defacing him (no pun intended!). 

If you'd had a corporate sponsor, these PR nightmares could have been avoided and their lawyers would have kept you from having to return to Spain chained up like some dirty Indian.

Mr. Columbus, if there is such thing as reincarnation then please don't make these mistakes again.

Signed,

Tim